Slacktory

writer's block

In the wake of the events of this week, a growing controversy on which my editor wants 300 words by 4 PM has polarized many in this tightly-knit community now struggling with the pressures  of modern life. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock — a phrase I got from the bloggers which reliably fills half a line in the first paragraph – you already saw the whole thing on HuffPo last night. But a deadline’s a deadline.

Sources close to the story confirmed what sounds suspiciously like something I pulled out of Google. Yet for some, by which I mean I’m home free as soon as I quote two people and throw in some color commentary, the matter approaches Orwellian proportions.

“These much-ballyhooed claims do not hold water,” said a retired expert who trolls for attention on HelpAReporter.com. “The emperor has no clothes.”

But a source I found on Facebook just now disagreed. “That’s f-ing bull—t,” said Mike Jones, whose profile describes him as a contractor. Thank God they cut it down from three quotes to two after the layoffs.

On the social network Twitter, an online micro-blogging service which provides the laziest man-on-the-street quotes ever, users were divided. “LMFAO,” tweeted @riotgrrl94. “lulz,” she added moments later. But user @jeremyismusing countered, “Sucks. FML.”

It remains to be seen whether I can finish this piece on time. But one thing is clear: I have 75 more words to fill.

Illustration (CC) Drew Coffman

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