The biggest problem in social networking is what I call Zuckerberg’s Law: The intelligence of a network decreases in direct proportion to the number of dumb fucks who sign up. You guys totally proved it this week.
For the three of you who missed the drama because you’re still on MySpace: I decided I would only eat meat from animals I kill myself. I asked a local chef for help, and she trained me to slaughter livestock the most humane way possible. You know how I used to gripe that if my investors say “adult supervision” one more time I’ll slit their throats? Turns out it’s easier than you think.
On Thursday I updated my status to “I just killed a pig and a goat.” Bam, 2,309 comments. I thought I’d posted to the PETA page by accident. Forbes or Fortune or whichever asked me to explain myself. I shouldn’t have bothered. The media have an uncanny ability to quote me word for word, and still get it wrong. You’d do better to get your news from Groupon.